Man, I’m so tired tonight and my feet are killing me. Let me see here, table forty-two is having chips and salsa as an appetizer and two beef fajitas. Table thirty-three is going to share queso dip and the chicken nachos. I know that cheap dude on thirty-three is going to stiff me on my tip. Fake ass dope boy; he needs to take off those fake jewels and it’s time to cut them raggedy dreads bra’. Homeboy looks like the George Jefferson of the 21st century, only he’s got a receding dread line instead of a receding hairline. He’s in here with a new chubby girlfriend; I think she got a few pounds on the old one. She’s weighin’ in at about a cool two-twenty. Brrrr. Fake dope boy keeps looking over at the slim light skinned girl on forty-two. She ain’t even studdin’ dat fool. He’s playin’ his self and fat girl is startin’ to get mad. She sees him peekin’ over at that girl. I don’t think he want it with her. I’d give fat girl two to one odds of whippin’ him. I’m so tired of some of these people. Just think I’m here serving tables as a thirty-five year-old man just because I believe in my ability to tell their story.
The Lord has blessed me with an awesome talent, I believe in HIM therefore I believe in me. I believe in the gift HE’s Blessed me with and if I use it for his purpose I will be successful. I will always believe and write about the perils of the peoples of Pine Hills. My how far the mighty have fallen, once the manager of many a nightclub, bar, restaurant, call center, warehouse and mold injection facility, I now run to the beckoning call of every wanna be thug and hoochie mama from my community that dawn my section. I quit my job for many reasons but mostly because I believe, now it’s time for me to be humbled and my faith strengthened. That light skinned girl is calling for me with a sexy smile on her face. She’s probably going to try to flirt some more. I played dumb last time; I’ll give a little this time. I need the tip. Light skin is kinda cute but I’m here to work and I don’t have time for the drama. I’ve got a young lady at home waiting for me who also believes in my gift and dream. That’s what I’m going home to, not another of my many fast flings. Lord I ask for forgiveness for some of the things I’ve said and thought this evening and for the strength to make it through these last two tables. I thank you for where you have placed me at this time in my life and for what you have blessed me with. I believe in you therefore I believe in me, Amen. Let me see what this little fast girl wants now.
Chubby Wanna Be Dope Boy With Receding Dreads:
Damn, that old bald head dude is blocking my view of chick. Them titties look right in that red shirt. She got a little ass for a slim chick too. I wish I wasn’t here wit Big Betty so I could holla at her. Betty talikin’ ‘bout what I keep lookin’ over there for, because bitch, they fine and ‘yo ass big. I can’t wait till Betty get her check so that I can get some re-up money. I need to get my hustle on. I’m gonna flip that check. After I get on my feet, I’ma be out bitch! True dat! Shit nigga move, I think I can see up that little skirt by the way she’s sittin’. Move nigga, move. Good, there you go, all shit! She crossed her legs, damn! I hope Betty take her big ass to the bathroom so I can go over there and get her number. Shit, I’ll take either one of their numbers. They both better than all the fat bitches I mess wit now. After we get outta here I think I’ll get Betty’s car so that I can go over and see Carol. I ain’t tapped that big ass in a while. Yea, true playa for real.
Slim Light Skin:
Uh hum, go head Mr. Bald Head. I know he got to be in his thirties but he’s fine as shit. I can see the way Shaneka keep lookin’ at him too. If anybody gonna fuck him it’s gonna be me. I don’t mind me a little older man; usually they have more experience and they’re more into getting you off. But, they got to be in shape; don’t nobody want no flabby ass old man especially if he ain’t got no money. Mr. Bald Head ain’t got to have no money I can tell he’s got a flat stomach under there and look at that butt. Even under his apron I can see a little bulge. I know he’s workin’ wit somethin’ and I wanna see. I’m gonna show him some more cleavage when he brings my salsa back here. I’ma try and reel ‘em in before Shaneka ho ass try to get at him. She’ll do him in a heartbeat. She ain’t a lady like me. I don’t know why that little chubby dude with the fat girl keep staring over here at me. Why is he still holding on to those dreads? That shit looks a hot mess and why is he wearing all that fake jewelry and shit? I hope his little ugly ass don’t come over here and try ta holla. If he do, I’m gonna just tell him I got a man and push him Shaneka’s way. Shit she might mess wit his little ugly ass if he get her hair and nails done. She’s so triflin’.
A month later Mr. Bald Head would be published, fake dope boy would be incarcerated and slim light skin would be impregnated with a bastard child. Each of them achieved the results they worked so hard towards in life, whether knowingly or unknowingly.