“Man Tommy did I tell you about what happened to me at work the other night?”
“Naw man what happened?”
“I’m surprised you didn’t see it, it was all over the news.”
Tommy sipped his Hennessey and sprite then looked up from the bar.
“Look man, I told you. I didn’t see or hear anything about what happened to you the other night.”
“I forgot you live in a cave. Won’t you invest in a computer or maybe just a TV so that you can stay up on current events.”
Tommy smirked at his friend before responding.
“I don’t exactly consider you and what goes on at your job current events but go on with your lame little story anyway.”
Larry laughed then slapped his friend on the back before leading into his story of daffy danger in the workplace.
“You know I moonlight at Johnson’s Bail bonds right?”
“Yea Larry, go on now.”
Larry swiveled around on his bar stool to look eye to eye with his friend before continuing.
“There’s this fool named Tyrone Watkins that came to us to bail his knucklehead little brother out of jail about three weeks ago. I felt like he was casing the joint the whole time he was there but I just conducted business and sent him on his way. I put that fool out of my mind until I saw him at the door a couple of nights ago. I recognized him and I knew we did business together before so I buzzed him in. As soon as he got through the door he rushed up on me with a pistol talkin’ ‘bout he gonna rob the place. I didn’t have my gun so I was going to give his dumb ass whatever he wanted but he got too close. I don’t know if the fool understood that you don’t have to put the barrel on somebody to shoot ‘em. It’s not a stun gun.”
The two men chuckled for a few moments before Larry continued on with his story.
“So we start tusslin’ over the gun then I notice that this fool got a back up man but dude ain’t doing nothin’ he just standing close to us watching. I put this 265lbs on his ass and slammed him up against the inside window, the guy behind me kept on acting like he wanted to jump in but didn’t know how. Finally the gun dropped to the ground and then the skinny back up man took off like a light. While trying to run out, he slipped, bumped his head on the counter, fell out and was back up. Before I knew it, his scary ass was out the door running down the block with blood dripping from his head. Then the wanna be gangster I was wrestling with started easing up and I pushed him out the door. He ran down the street like he was looking for the get away car but apparently his scary homeboy took the ride and left him behind. After looking around all stupid and shit he turned and ran back pass where I was standing and around the corner. When the cops got there, I just pulled out his paperwork from when he bailed his brother out of jail and gave the police his home address and where he works. From what I hear the cops were waiting for him when he got home. His fat ass was so tired from walking when he got there that he passed out in the back seat of the police car. They showed his stupid ass on the news getting’ woke up by the cops poppin’ him upside his head. Then they drove into the police garage so that they could process him. A camera crew is coming to my house to interview me, catch ya boy on the news homie; they were even talkin’ ‘bout puttin’ me on a couple of talk shows. Ya boy gonna be famous all because of some fake ass jack boys. Oh by the way, they caught slim too, his boy snitched on him for leavin’ him.”
Tommy scratched his chin suddenly proud of his friend’s bravery.
“That’s a hell of a story Larry. Hey don’t forget your boy when you blow up and become a big crime fighter. I can get my lady to make your costume out of your favorite materials and colors. Lavender, pink and turquoise will be your colors and it ‘yo shit will be made out of velvet, rayon and polyester. You’ll be the prettiest crime fighter of all time. Superman ain’t gonna have nohin’ on you! No, man seriously that was a brave thing you did; I’m glad you’re safe.”
The two friends once again burst out in laughter then finished their drinks.
Bungling Bail bondsman Bandits