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Streakin’ for Stroh’s

strohs

The winter of 1988 was an unusually cold one in parts of Central Florida especially Pine Hills. In a house on the cul-de-sac of Fruitwood, two eighteen year old teens sat in a small bedroom trippin’ on acid and playing video games. The neighborhood was quiet as the wind howled outside the window increasing the boys’ delusions and hallucinations. Suddenly Wesley spotted his old Halloween masks up in his closest, he quickly retrieved them.

“Randy ,dude check these out. I’ll be the alien and you can be the goblin.”

Wesley tossed his friend the mask and Randy put it on. He looked into the mirror and his mind slipped into a fantasy world of mystical majestic creatures and beings.

“Cool dude.”

He turned to see Wesley in his mask and the fantasy took on a life of its own. It became imperative that he and his comrade go on a mission.

“Dude we need supplies for the station, we must fortify our dwelling against the infidels.”

Wesley responded affirmatively.

“Yes supplies must be gotten, infidels must be defeated.”
“We have to go undetected, go invisible.”

Wesley closed his eyes to invoke his invisibility as Randy did the same. Randy opened his eyes to see Wesley had become invisible all except for his mask and clothes. Wesley looked at Randy and saw the same thing. Without saying a word, they both stripped down naked and rushed towards Wesley’s car. After a short drive of avoiding flying pixies and road trolls the boys arrived at a local store. They rushed through the doors shocking the cashier and the other patrons and ran right back towards the beer cooler. They took only Stroh’s beers as it was made by their allies in this war of good and evil, the Strohonians. After collecting three cases of beer they were out and on their way to completing their mission. Randy turned to his partner as he cautiously drove down the road careful to steer clear of the road trolls.

“We must take the sustenance from the mouths of infidels.”

Wesley pulled into a cafeteria style restaurant and again the two missionaries rushed into the establishment buck naked with masks on. They ran through the restaurant and snatched the ham and turkey off of everyone’s plate in the restaurant. Most people just got up and ran away from the two drugged up boys so as not to come in contact with their naked bodies. The boys rushed out of the building to see their transport carriage gliding away. Randy yelled out in anger.

“This must be the work of the infidels!”

Wesley left the car running with the driver’s door open when he ran into the restaurant. Wesley suddenly felt pain on his body.

“We can’t last long out in this foreign atmosphere we must find adequate shelter.”

Randy pointed down the street.

“This way, there’s a life safe zone.”

The two boys ran down two blocks to a doctor’s office and ducked behind the building. There they found a dumpster and dove in it. The trash gave them very little warmth for the twelve minutes they sat shivering trying to contact their mother ship using Big Mac boxes. The police quickly found the two near frost bitten boys and snatched their naked bodies from the dumpster. There were a string of witnesses to show the police exactly where the naked boys were. Wesley and Randy made the news with their misadventure and unfortunately for Wesley his car was never recovered. After getting out of jail, the boys never used LSD again in their lives leaving the infidels victorious in the drug induced war of their minds.

Streakin’ for Stroh’s

 

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