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Self Love

self-love
“You’re only as beautiful as you let yourself be baby. If you can’t see the beauty in you, then how can anybody else.”

Sand rocked back in her chair then forward towards young Cynthia. She looked over her glasses deep into the girl’s eyes before saying…

“A bad man don’t love nothin’ more than a woman that can’t see the beauty in herself. Can you see the beauty in yourself?”

Cynthia shrugged and tilted her head with a shy smile on her face.

“I don’t know, I guess so?”

Sand shook her head slightly then smiled softly at the young girl. Cynthia became curious as to the woman’s thoughts.

“What. Why are you smiling at me like that?”

Sand responded joyously.

“Jesus sees the beauty in you.”

Then she nodded her head in the affirmative.

“Yes it’s true, HE loves you same as HE loves me. Jesus sees the beauty in you always so you should always see the beauty in yourself. Can you see it?”

Again Cynthia responded meekly.

“I guess so.”

Sand shook her head from side to side before taking a more stern tone with the esteem challenged girl.

“It’s time you wised up girl! It ain’t only you, you got to worry about; you got that baby to worry about too. If you can’t see the beauty in yourself right now maybe you can try seeing the beauty in that little girl. Jesus loves her too. Do you love her enough to keep her and yourself out of harms way?”

She then reached down into the carrier and picked the infant up and kissed her gently on the cheek. Sand’s words seemed to finally awaken something deep within the girl.

“I love my baby and I’m gonna take good care of her.”
“Taking good care of her don’t stop with just feeding, bathing and clothing her. You got to put her in a safe, loving home where she can grow learn and thrive. Expose her to the WORD at a young age and she will be a blessing to you in the years to come.”

Tears slowly streamed down Cynthia’s cheeks.

“But I love him Miss Sand. I love him.”
“Does he love you child? Has he even demonstrated the ability to love himself? If he can’t love his self then how can he love anybody?”

Cynthia began to sob harder and mucous dripped from her nose. Sand handed the girl a handkerchief and continued on. Her point had to be made.

“I’ve got some place for you and this baby to go. You can get out of this wicked place and start anew. Your life is only going to get better if you put Jesus and the welfare of this beautiful child first in your life. No man should ever come before that. The Lord blessed you with that pretty girl. That’s Jesus’ baby, same as your life is his and so is mine. We were put here in this place temporarily for his purpose. This is not our last stop; this is just a drop in the bucket of time. This life is a trial, a test and a trust. He’s trusted you to do good by the life he gave you to govern over in this foreign place. Heaven is our true home. Do you understand?”

Cynthia looked up at Sand now crying openly and answered.

“Yes.”

Sand continued on.

“Do you love Jesus?”
“Yes.”
“Do you trust in him?”
“Yes.”
“Well to love and trust him is to love and trust in you. Don’t ever put your trust or faith in man, only Jesus. When that boy gets out of jail you will be out of town and on to a better life.”

Cynthia’s weeping had slowed some at the mention of her beloved boyfriend.

“This is still his child too. I can’t just disappear with his child.”

Sand patted her on the shoulder before further encouraging her.

“Child if he cares he’ll come here and I’ll make sure that if he wants to send some money or a letter that I will pass it on. I don’t know if it will happen or not but if it does you can be sure that I will do exactly what I say but don’t count on me to seek him out. He got a responsibility to you and this child so he needs to be a man and live up to his responsibilities. Don’t be foolish enough to invest your energy into thinking about how he might feel about the situation because I can assure you that staying here and waiting on him would be a huge mistake. Now is your bag packed?”

Cynthia nodded her head in the affirmative.

“Good, now Chookie ‘round back ‘wit the car runnin’. C’mon and give me some sugar now and be on your way.”

Sand kissed the baby again and then put her back in her carrier. She then placed a Bible in the girl’s hands and kissed her on the forehead. Sand helped the young girl and her infant daughter into the vehicle and they were off to start a new life. Cynthia’s courageous decision led to a loving and productive child hood for her daughter, Carol, filled with laughter and serving. Loving ourselves is a blessing given us freely by our Lord. Sadly we are often too blinded by sin to accept and appreciate our blessings. Carol would later become a journalist exposing the ills of the world, while never making her father’s acquaintance. She was never blessed with the urge to seek him out. It just goes to show, God don’t make no mistakes.

Self Love

 

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